Permission granted: You can rest AND still be a good person.
Let's start with something radical: You are not a machine that should maintain the same output regardless of season, circumstance, or energy level. You are a human being, and human beings are part of nature—which means we're designed to ebb and flow, not operate at a constant maximum capacity.
Yet here we are, fighting against winter with every fiber of our being. Trying to maintain summer's pace, summer's energy, summer's productivity. Drinking more coffee. Setting more alarms. Pushing harder. Feeling guilty about every moment we're not "on."
And we wonder why we're so damn exhausted.
The Biology of Rest (Or: Your Body Isn't Betraying You)
Here's what we've forgotten: Rest is not a reward you earn after proving your worth. It's a biological necessity, like breathing or eating. Your body requires periods of recovery to function properly.
When winter comes—whether that's the literal season or a metaphorical one in your life—your body is asking for something specific. Lower light levels trigger changes in melatonin production. Colder temperatures signal your system to conserve energy. Even your circadian rhythm shifts, requesting more sleep.
This isn't laziness. This isn't weakness. This is your brilliantly designed system trying to keep you healthy.
But we've been taught to override these signals. To treat rest as a moral failing rather than a biological need. To believe that productivity is the measure of our worthiness as humans.
So we fight. And we suffer.
What Your Body Is Actually Asking For
When you feel the pull toward rest, your body isn't necessarily asking for sleep (though you might need that too). It's asking for restoration—and that can take many forms:
Physical rest might mean actual sleep, but it can also mean gentle movement, stretching, or simply sitting without multitasking.
Mental rest is giving your brain a break from decision-making, problem-solving, and processing. It's why scrolling social media doesn't feel restorative—your brain is still working hard to process all that information.
Emotional rest means allowing yourself to feel without judgment. To not be "on" for others. To drop the performance of being okay when you're not.
Sensory rest is reducing the assault of noise, light, notifications, and stimulation that bombards us constantly.
Creative rest involves experiencing beauty without producing anything—watching the sunset, listening to music, noticing the way light falls through windows.
Your exhaustion might not be about sleep at all. It might be that you've been giving endlessly in every other dimension while receiving nothing back.
True Restoration vs. Numbing Out
Here's where it gets tricky: Not all "rest" is actually restorative.
Numbing out is what happens when we're so depleted that we reach for whatever will help us escape the feeling of exhaustion—endless scrolling, binge-watching shows we don't really care about, eating without tasting, drinking to take the edge off.
Numbing isn't wrong or bad. Sometimes we need it. But it doesn't restore us. We wake up the next day just as tired, sometimes more so.
True restoration involves presence. It requires us to actually be in our rest rather than just collapse into distraction. It might look like:
- A bath where you actually notice the warmth of the water
- Reading something that feeds your soul, not just kills time
- A walk where you're present with your surroundings, not mentally running through your to-do list
- Sitting in silence without immediately reaching for your phone
- Time with people who energize rather than drain you
The difference is this: Numbing helps you avoid feeling exhausted. Restoration actually replenishes you.
Creating Rest That Actually Works
So how do we practice real rest in a world that demands constant productivity?
1. Release the guilt first. You cannot rest effectively while simultaneously beating yourself up for resting. Your rest doesn't need to be earned. You deserve it simply because you're alive.
2. Start small. If taking a whole day off feels impossible, start with 15 minutes. Sit with your morning coffee without checking your phone. Take an actual lunch break. The length matters less than the quality of presence.
3. Notice what actually restores you. Pay attention to what leaves you feeling more energized versus more depleted. This is personal—what restores one person might drain another.
4. Set boundaries around your rest. Rest isn't just what happens when you're too exhausted to do anything else. It's something you schedule, protect, and honor like any other important commitment.
5. Reframe rest as productive. Because it is. Rest is when your body heals, your brain consolidates learning, your creativity regenerates, and your nervous system recalibrates. You cannot be productive long-term without it.
The Wisdom of Winter
Nature doesn't apologize for winter. Trees don't feel guilty for dropping their leaves. Bears don't shame themselves for hibernating. The earth rests without justification.
What if we trusted ourselves that way?
What if we honored our own winters—whether they last a season or an afternoon—as necessary and good? What if we stopped fighting against our humanness and started working with it instead?
This isn't about giving up. It's not about being lazy or opting out of life. It's about giving yourself what you actually need so you can show up as the person you want to be—not the depleted, resentful, exhausted version of yourself that's just going through the motions.
You can rest and still be a good person.
You can slow down and still be valuable.
You can honor your limits and still be worthy.
The world will keep spinning. The work will still be there tomorrow. And you will be better equipped to engage with it all if you're not running on empty.
Your Turn
What would rest look like for you if you truly allowed it? Not the guilty, sneaking kind of rest—the kind you fully give yourself permission to have?
What would change if you stopped treating your need for rest as a character flaw and started treating it as information?
Winter is here, in whatever form it takes in your life right now. You can keep fighting it, or you can lean into its wisdom.
The choice is yours.